1) Be Independent Some “experts” say you should act unavailable.
It’s true that being overly available can seem desperate or unattractive, but the last thing you want to do is play dating games.
It happened for me — and a growing number of other women, including bloggers such as the Local Dialect, The Downtown Diner, and Wo Ai Ni.
According to Xiao Yu, some Chinese men could never believe that such a girl would become their one and only. A driver who took me to the Beijing Airport this summer admitted he once had a Russian girlfriend when he was a college student.
But he said he was never able to satisfy her (yes, in way), so they parted.
As Leong, the author and UCLA professor put it: “Asian men can kick butt, but they can’t have a kiss.” It gets a little more personal in blogs, such as posts titled Us Bitter, Bitter Asian Men or Sucks to be an Asian male. I’ve had Chinese guys refuse me because they felt, as a traditional man, they could never see themselves married to a foreign girl.
However, the subtext is often that foreign women are a dangerous choice — too casual, the temptress, etc — or could not accept a Chinese way of life.
If you’re suffering from no-life syndrome, step back and ask yourself why you aren’t having fun on your own. Play the sport you like or pursue one of your interests. Insecure people push for serious relationships for the security it brings, and people can sense that.