Love is not enough to keep a relationship going, it is definitely not enough to conquer all problems, but it certainly helps. [For more, check out: Things I love about Japan: Couple Wear] Intercultural dating is a lot of things. Two years later, and I never know what to expect on dates. But I really fell in love with the culture once I started dating Ryosuke. He was the one who helped me understand the types of sexism in Japan (for more, check out this post) But living with him, his family, and his friends, I have been given the enormously unique opportunity of doing participant observation of the Japanese culture.
A romantic walk on the beach is never just a romantic walk on the beach. And, well, I started this blog to document what I found.
However, most of it is defined by the fact that I am white and he is Asian.
My relationship (like any relationship) is a compromise between the good, the bad, and the ugly.
If you’re ‘lucky’ no one will come up to you in the street and ask “why are you dating him? The closer the friend, the more you tend to dislike their choice of a partner.
Expect the roles to be reversed on you, except this time, your friends and family have a whole new way to judge your partner – race, religion, culture, and cultural beliefs. In the course of your AMWF relationship, you will run across old friends and new acquaintances who want to ‘save you from ignoring this obvious problem.’ Most of them mean well. But people’s words hurt a lot more than they realize. While it would be foolish to ignore the impact Japanese culture will have on my relationship, our foreign cultures are not the determining factor on whether we can have a successful marriage.
If you do not respect and appreciate your partners culture (to the extent you are willing to forsake elements of your own culture for their benefit), intercultural and interracial relationships are nearly impossible.
Those social keys, elements of sarcasm, and play on words expressions will never come naturally to each of us in a foreign language.Relationships also those other silly things like respect, the ability to change, stability, and understanding.Basically, Love is not enough (which goes against everything Disney taught me).It was heartbreaking to watch my friend’s intercultural relationship fall apart (and even harder to not pick a side).I wondered where it went wrong – but the answer was pretty obvious to everyone involved.Being in love is one of the best feelings in the world.