Close your eyes and imagine going back to those times as your current self with all you've learned since that time (even the things you've learned from this fear of rejection article).Imagine reassuring that younger you: your present you calmly telling that younger self how everything's going to be okay.If your perception is always so accurate, maybe you should get around to winning that lottery.Part of my therapy with Kelly was to make her If we feel that rejection will mean the 'end of the world' for us, then we will fear it all the more. But if you sit down and think: "Okay, if this relationship does end, how happens gives you huge amounts of confidence and makes it easier to finally switch off the old automatic rejection detector (which is faulty anyway).I know this might seem like a contradiction to the above, but it can be valuable to look to the beginnings of that old fear of rejection. Maybe you'd been taught by someone else that rejection is the very worst thing that can happen.Perhaps you can remember specific times when you'd felt very rejected before.
Right here and now, take a few minutes and really think about how you want to be in the future around this issue: relaxed, indifferent, self-assured?
And how does that behaviour influence your actions?
You can't start to change your actions until you really see what is going on.
Consider what people have rejected: If someone does 'reject' you, don't inevitably feel it's because you're 'unlovable' or 'destined to be alone' - because what they've done is give you very clear feedback about...themselves.
Kelly grew beyond her old fear of rejection and is now happy to enjoy her present and let the future "do whatever it likes".
And this may be especially true when it comes to fear of rejection.