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Many older divorced or widowed men and women are in the same boat. You're probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places (bars come to mind).

They feel protective of their privacy and peace of mind, but they haven't become eunuchs or hermits. But offered a chance to reconnect with someone from your past — dinner with your high school steady, for example — you might just surprise yourself by winding up in bed.

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That doesn't mean all casual lovers feel emotionally bereft in the wake of a purely physical rendezvous, mind you.

Many say they're getting exactly what they want and need.

Is that a deplorably manipulative state of affairs?

Possibly — until you stop to consider how many of us are comfortable with being unpartnered but how few of us are willing to remain untouched.

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