But like so many of God’s good gifts, because of our sin, intimacy can be dangerous.
The human heart is wired to want intimacy, but it is also wired to corrupt intimacy — to demand intimacy in the wrong ways or at the wrong time, and to expect the wrong things from intimacy.
God did not mean for us to risk so much in our pursuit of marriage.
For sure, we always make ourselves vulnerable to some degree as we get to know someone and develop a relationship, but God wants us to enjoy the fullness of intimacy within a covenant, not in some science lab of love. One test for whether you are pursuing clarity or intimacy is to study the questions we ask in dating.
Yes, they’re each still themselves, but they’re too close now to ever be separated again (Mark 10:9). There is too much at stake with our hearts, and too many risks involved, without a ring and public vows.
And if we want to get married, we need to pursue clarity about whom to marry. The right kind of clarity is a means to the right kind of intimacy, not the other way around.But is there a unique prize for the believer in marriage?Yes, it is Christ-centered emotional and sexual intimacy with another believer.That means intimacy between sinners is dangerous, because we’re prone, by nature, to hurt one another — to do what feels good, instead of caring for the other person; to promise too much too soon, instead of being patient and slow to speak; to put our hope, identity, and worth in one another, instead of in God.Intimacy makes us vulnerable, and sin makes us dangerous.When God unites us, death is the only thing strong enough to separate us.